April Showers

"The Lord said, `Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of
the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.' Then a great and
powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks
before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind
there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.
After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire.
And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he
pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth
of the cave." --- 1 Kings 19:11

A friend who recently returned from her own mountain-top experience
on Mt. Sinai reminded me of these verses. She arrived atop the
Egyptian mountain with great expectations for God to explode with a
miraculous work. And yet, all she saw was a sunrise, not unlike the
thousands of others she has seen. And, though the work was not out
of the ordinary, her expectations were met: God spoke loud and
clear to her. We find him not only in the large miracles, but in
the simplicities of life, such as the sunrise. So often we fail to
look for Him in the obvious, hoping that He'll part a sea for us, or
bring a mountain down. I expect God to work like He did in the Old
Testament. I expect him to send me overseas and then turn things
upside down AND right them again. My expectations are great – and
while they are never met in way I want them to, He never fails to
exceed them. I expect to see great miracles – to see world peace,
to see children saved from their wretched states, and to see this
city give itself into God's hands. But He's showing me He doesn't
move in fires, He doesn't come in earthquakes, and He doesn't come
when I want Him to. He moves in the wind, in the gentle breezes
that I encounter everyday – the seemingly insignificant events so
easily passed by as ordinary. Recognizing this fact has been
extremely important this past month, as circumstances haven't always
happened the way I want them to, but in the end He has been
glorified by them.

This past month has been overwhelmingly (at times) lonely. But
knowing that He's moving, I searched for the reason behind my
loneliness. The verses that kept following me (during devotions, in
church sermons, in books) were Paul's words to the Philippians "I
have learned to be content in all situations." Big words for a
small minded person like myself. Finding contentment – satisfaction
in the status quo – seems like it should be rather simple. But that
means finding peace of mind when I run out of money for food for the
week, when I haven't had a conversation with a person in three days,
and when there is no hot water from the tap. Contentment means that
my perspective can see that today's crisis will be tomorrow's
victory. But I am too simple minded– today's crisis so often
overtakes my emotions that I cannot see beyond the tip of my nose,
let alone tomorrow. God set before me a challenge I readily took on
when I returned here alone. Seeking Him daily, I know now He
desires for me to find my hope, strength, and satisfaction in Him
alone. Breaking me bit by bit, not until I stop struggling against
my fleshy wants and desires do I realize everything I have NEEDED I
have found in Him.

I found this week that I was not the only one who struggles with
this: a missionary from my church here, Michael, runs a church for
the African students who attend Friendship University. Last
November a fire swept through the dorms there, causing many students
to leap from 3rd, 4th, and 5th floor rooms to safety – many were
hurt badly and have spent the year in the hospital. Michael's
church was ousted from their campus meeting place just before the
fire, and since then hasn't been allowed back in. He told me about
his frustration in that matter, but that he has seen God's
faithfulness as he has ministered to the hospitalized students
there. His stories are incredible – students who praise God despite
the fact that they may never walk again and have spend 4 months in a
hospital bed in a foreign country. As Michael told me that he has
struggled finding contentment in all situations, a smile broke
across my face: no matter who we are or what the our situations
are, God teaches us the same lessons! Michael said that this year,
while it hasn't been what he planned, it has been a year of growth
and learning; for that, Michael is thankful.

Thank you for those of you who have prayed and contributed to my
Habitat for Humanity trip. Unfortunately, God had other plans for
me: we don't have enough volunteers to take a team out to Ulan Ude,
so the official trip has been cancelled. I spent several days angry
and bitter over this disappointment, but I am trying to rest in His
knowing more than me! Because I have to get out of the city, and
still desire to see another part of this country, at least one other
girl and I (we're trying to recruit more) will travel for a few days
in the beginning of May out to the Lake Baikal area. You can
continue to pray for this ministry – Habitat was ready with a
project for us that will now be delayed until another team is able
to help. I'm not sure why this fell through – I truly believed it
was God's will that we go, but I know too that He knows best!

Spring has arrived in Moscow – there is a giant bumble bee in my
kitchen right now! I know I've said it before, but I feel like Lucy
walking through Narnia during the great thaw! While it has always
signified renewal, this time of the year seems more poignant over
here. I suppose it's the extremes we've encountered: the bitter
winter giving way to a fabulously beautiful spring; it reminds me of
the beauty He is able to reveal in me. The street corner I walk to
everyday was covered in dirty, trashy snow a few weeks ago; there is
a green garden there now. God is good – all the time!

May you be blessed today, and may you find contentment in all
situations!