So long, Farewell!

This hill, though high, I covet to ascend,

The Difficulty will not me offend.

For I perceive the Way to Life lies here:

Come pluck up Heart, let’s neither faint nor fear;

Better, though difficult, the Right Way to go,

Than wrong, though easy where the End is Wo.

--The Pilgrim’s Progress, John Bunyan

A year ago, I was saying goodbye to California . Saturday, I say goodbye to Russia . Once again, tears have been shed, and more will follow; as it was a year ago, today is not only the end of one saga, but the commencement of a new adventure. My heart is as unsure of the future as it was a year ago, but if the past is a measure of the future, I know I will continue to learn, love and grow!

This year has been layered with lessons: words will never express how much I’ve learned, changed, and discovered about myself, my faith, and the world in which I live. This summer has delivered understanding to all those lessons. My heart doesn’t fit in a garden; my life can’t be shaped into a song. Although I live in a land about which fairy tales are told, my life is anything but, and for that I am grateful (the originality of this life makes it that much more thrilling!) My faith has developed so that I can see how simple Christ’s love can be, yet how complex that love looks worked out on Earth. I’ve discovered how unreliable my emotions are, yet how much they affect my decisions and how much they are affected by my environment. I’ve found painful goodbyes are a good measure of the love I have shared. I’ve learned, as Lucy learned about Aslan, that while He doesn’t always appear to be safe, He is most definitely good.

The Kingdom of Heaven is all around us – I’ve see this year that no matter where I go, I find a glimpse of heaven in the people I encounter. I wanted to thank you all at home for your prayers, thoughts, and notes this year; your support was invaluable to me and I couldn’t have done it without you. Those of you from Moscow , thank you for bearing with me this year and helping me find myself through a painful process. Thank you for your godly examples, your enduring love, your encouragement, lessons about Russian culture and hours of laughter – if it weren’t for you all I wouldn’t have had such a successful year. I can only hope to be blessed with such wonderful people during my next adventure – though most of you can never be replaced.

The door is closing behind me, and a new horizon with a rising sun is before me. (I feel today as thought I’m being hit on the butt by that closing door, but alas…) And with so, with a heavy heart, I say goodbye, or better, until we meet again. I will return to California the beginning of October, and hope to see some of you then. Please keep me in your prayers until then – for safety and a smooth trip while I am in Europe , for a peace about moving on, and for my future endeavors. I know God hears your prayers!

From my journal: 23 July

‘“I am not, in my natural state, nearly so much of a person as I like to believe: most of what I call “me” can be very easily explained. It is when I turn to Christ, when I give myself up to His Personality, that I first begin to have a real personality of my own.”’–Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis. -- I feel like I have finally found myself in Him. I am simple; God is simple: Together we are more complicated than humanity can understand.’