Reflections

It is honestly very difficult to believe that I taught for an entire year in Russia. So much has changed; so much is the same. Most of the girls I taught with have returned to the states, and this week has been filled with goodbyes and tears as we all go our separate ways. I have continued to teach, for the summer school program, without the support of my fellow American teachers and have been able to recognize the value of their support during this time. It was a difficult year, but I’ve learned that God works more it seems, during difficult times. I always knew it would be a hard year; it seems ironic that I can only recognize my growth in the end because of my difficulties. Here are a few of the things I’ve realized:

I’ve learned that a child’s hug and smile convey more meaning than words ever could. I’ve learned that snow is really only beautiful on two occasions: when it is the season’s first snowfall, and when it involves mountains that can be snowboarded/skied/sledded down. I’ve learned that every relationship we encounter is a thumbprint in this lump of clay that God is shaping into a beautiful vessel. I’ve learned how much people watch me, and the impact my actions have on others I never knew cared. I’ve learned to value American Pride. I’ve learned that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but Russia is still ugly in February. I’ve learned what it means to be “an alien in this world” (Hebrews 11:13). I’ve learned the power sunshine has on my soul on a cold day. I’ve learned how important it is to feel “a part” of a group – a family, a group of friends, or a team. I’ve learned that sometimes a 12 year old can have a much bigger perspective of the world than a 23 year old. I’ve learned the worst words a teacher can hear from her students is “this is boring.” I’ve learned bravery is an attitude, not a characteristic. I’ve learned that no one will ever truly be able to identify with my life’s experiences, and understand what I am trying to convey. I’ve learned that when the kitchen is clean, life feels like it has some semblance of order (thanks, Dad). I’ve learned the value of idle reflection. I’ve learned you can make the grumpiest of men smile when you wear striped toe socks with sandals on the metro. I’ve learned that my mom’s voice is one of the best sounds in the world. I’ve learned that I am not an elementary school teacher, but that I should be a teacher. I’ve learned that even spoiled rich kids need love. I’ve learned -- better yet, seen -- that life goes on even when wars are waging, bombs are blowing up, hostages are held, and Presidents conflict; we all still eat, work, and sleep. I’ve learned that the way I say things, my attitude, often conveys more than my words do. I’ve learned that God puts people in our lives when we need them, and He may take them away when they have shown us what He wanted us to see. I’ve learned how little I know, and how much I have to learn. I’ve learned that it really is “a small world after all!”

I have two more months here, living in the city, teaching those who ask, and learning from all I encounter. I look forward to visits from friends, time to read and rest, and time to write. That is one more thing I have learned: how much I love to write. I don’t do it nearly enough, but I will try and record more of my experiences here to share with you as I have time and try to develop some skill as a writer J. I have more to tell you, more to see, and more to learn.

Until He returns...