I'm trying not to....

...but I recognize how cynical I'm becoming. I've realized this year, and only this year, does work really feel like work. And I hate that. I hate that I don't jump out of bed excited to change the world (or at least a life) everyday.

Why? you ask? Part of it's maturity, I suppose. There were those that told me I'd lose my wanderlust with age, and I am (losing it, that is). The same thing happens with my naivety. I'm losing that wide-eyed excitement I once had...and I hate, hate, hate that. I don't want to work because I have to, but I have to. The more I am immersed in the trenches, I see the war for what it is. And it's so ugly, and so hopeless.

And so, I've tried to add some fun to the days. I'm still trying to celebrate little triumphs. I told some students I would offer them some extra credit if they came to the football game on Friday. And here are the "troublemakers" that showed up. They had a lot of fun -- we went into double overtime before losing -- and are excited to come to the CIF game this Friday. I'm glad I found something they like! If only I could get them all.

Next Wednesday I'm off for five days. And a veteran teacher has told me to look forward to breaks -- that's how you get through 30+ years. Is that what I'm resigned to?