life lessons

Here's what I've recognized as of late:

People talk a big talk, but don't necesarily walk the walk. I am amazed at how much people exaggerate the truth, just to look the part. California is crazy, I'll give you that, and we know how to party. By party I don't mean that we get drunk every night, or go home with guys we meet at a bar. This isn't Sex in the City (that show's producers admit that they are FAR from reality in their writing.) We like our fun, and in big doeses. Only, not everyone has fun all the time. We just pretend we do. We pretend that all we do is party, but what that really means is that we like to go out to restaurants and bars, have a drink, meet a new friend and call it an evening when we get tired. That's it. And we don't do it everynight (though we might act like we do).

Men are insecure on first dates, just like me. They are awkward. I have yet to met any man, even the one who should have the most confidence display it well on the first date. Even men in dating relationships aren't completely ok with themselves. Life is awkward. We just don't like to admit it because that would be a sign of weakness. Weakness isn't cool. So we pretend.

Women want to look the part. We want Glamour stories to be our life..and when it's not, we're disappointed. We want to look cool, feel cool and be considered cool...but we aren't all the time. So we pretend. We pretend and by off brand clothes that look cool, exaggerate our income, weight, and number of calories consumed in a day. Just so the story sort of fits.

So instead of acknowleding how life really is, we make it sound like we are Glamour models, that we have it all together, that our jobs are fantastic, that we have all the money in the world. We talk this huge talk -- and appear to be beautiful. Professional pretenders. I wonder when the shit is going to hit the fan, so to speak. When are we going to face reality? It must, at some point. Or are my married friends playing the same game, just with new players. Are their families really a disaster? Or are they the picture perfect foursome they appear to be?

I've come to be okay with it. Ok with pretending. As long as we all realize we are pretending (which, I've discovered, most people do, I was just a slow one.) As long as someday, somewhere, I find someone who wants to be real with me, who knows when I am pretending, and who can go back and forth smoothly. Anyone? Anyone?