The first week of May

I can't believe it's already May. I can't believe there are only 3 weeks left in May. This photo is from May, 1999. Seven years ago. zooooooom......

People keep asking me how my week was. Fast. I feel like I'm moving at warp speed. And I hate that. Reflecting on the week, I've learned/realized a lot.

Money really is the root of all evil. I'm being stretched thinner than necessary ($15 a week for food is going to help me lose weight!) and it makes me grumpy and anxious. Friends want me to join them for dinner. I hate when people just sit at a table in a restaurant, so I won't be one of those. I went to the grocery store yesterday (instead of Olive Garden with friends) and felt like a peasant. Eggs, cheese, butter, yogurt, and two cans of tuna. $11. That leaves me with $4 for the week. So I've learned to be frugal. And that this summer, all of my work is going to be to pay off the credit card debt I've incurred because I am a social animal and what isn't in the checking account becomes debt on the credit card. They didn't have credit (really) in Russia. They couldn't figure out how people bought homes in America-- who had $250,000 sitting around? (I couldn't ever get it in their heads that NO one did -- that banks all owned the homes). I can't figure out how they did it WITHOUT credit! (Bad perspective, I know...welcome to the OC where we all live above our means.)

I learned I'm not the only one in this situation. People who make twice what I do worry about the same things. Always. I hate that.

I discovered how much I love blogs. Commentators say they are the "news" of today -- with everyone thinking they are reporters. I don't. This is my life. These are my thoughts. They are insignificant in the grand scheme of things. But that's what life is about, right? If you don't know me, my insignificant thoughts mean nothing. So they should. But, if you are a friend, you miss hearing about my insignificant daily thoughts. One friend posts pictures of her kids -- they live 2000 miles away, but I still get to see them grow up each day. What a blessing. Nothing huge, but real. A roommate from college fills the world in on her financial/baby dilema. Phew...other people think the same thing as I do.

I'm reading "The World Is Flat" and he discuss how the Internet has brought us all together -- to the same level and connencted us in more ways than we know. Being a child of all this, I don't know what I'd do if saying goodbye at graduation really meant "goodbye, see you in heaven." We are all here, all on the same field with the same dilemas, questions, tragedies. It's reliving to know that.

I've realized how far I've come in discovering myself, and just how far I have to go. I've had two amazing conversations (with guys, interestingly enough) this week about life/females/self-discovery. I'm not married because I'm not ready. Not that I ever will be, but I haven't been close, so far. That's ok, from a logical standpoint. I've got time on my side and I love where things are going. From an emotional standpoint, it'd be nice to have someone to share this all with, which must be why I have such amazing friends. Life for the marrieds doesn't change who they are as people (my demented mind assumes it does.)

A new week. New lessons to be learned.