Last night I was very upset because I received a bill for over $2500 from my mortgage company. Being the kind people they are, they offered to let me pay it over the next 12 months. Right.
When I bought this place a year ago, we calculated our budget down to pennies. And I use every single one of them a month. Wise? Probably not. This housing market is either boom or bust. Either I'm going to win big with this gamble or I'm going to lose it all. I knew that from the beginning; seeking counsel on the matter, I decided that since rent around here (or, at least, in a location that I feel safe living) is nearly as much as my mortgage, the little bit extra would be worth the investment. Unless, of course the market goes south: since I'm not paying principal, I'm not really "investing."
So, yes. Every penny spent. But blessed beyond words. The prayer put into this decision confirmed that it was what we were supposed to do. I knew God was asking me to trust him. I knew that this would take faith. So what did I do when the bill came last night?
Then, this morning, I read about the Israelites and their wanderings. What idiots?! God provides, they complain. He blesses, they rejoice, life gets hard, they complain. He blesses, they complain. Won't they ever learn? Oh wait. That's me. God provides, I complain. He blesses, I rejoice, life gets hard, I complain. History is supposed to be written for us to learn from other's mistakes, but do we? Do I?
And so, I resolve to life by faith. To trust him. He's taken care of me so far. Why should I doubt him now? He clothes me more beautifull that the flowers of the field, gives more food than I need to survive, and a place to live that I don't deserve. Alas, I can't complain. I won't complain. I'll pay the bill and move on. Money only comes to go, right?
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