I have been composing this letter in my head for a few weeks now. I wish I could convey to you the aura of the people here. I came here in search of them, the people particularly, and what I have found, only a little over a month into my journey, is both disturbing and invigorating. I will try to show you what I have seen, but know that my images are clouded by my American prejudice.
I have begun reading The Journey of Desire, by John Eldridge. Eldridge asks the question, what do you really want from life? I have always known I wanted adventure. As I have struggled through these past few weeks, I have wondered what it is that I desired from this request to God to go to Russia. I wanted more than anything, to know what life was like here. And so God puts me here, in the middle of Moscow, working and living like many Russians do. The result? I find myself constantly complaining, constantly upset by my unmet wants and desires. It takes me two hours to make chili and corn bread from scratch, and instead of being happy at the opportunity for "rustic-ness," I am disappointed that I didn’t have time to e-mail. I walk for at least 40 minutes everyday; instead of being overjoyed at a thoughtless exercise, I complain that everything takes too long. When I get off work too late on Wednesdays to attend Bible study with the other girls, I am not even grateful for the few hours I end up with by myself. I ride a bus for forty-five minuets a day, I complain there are other things I could be doing, instead of building relationships with other teachers during that time. I complain and fret about so many little things, and life for me is easy, compared to most. Some may wait for hours for a bus that will never come; I may wait an hour for a bus that is guaranteed to come. If a Russian gets on a bus that gets stuck in traffic, they sleep, read, and talk; but they do not put on a sour face. I read yesterday that at one university here, the professors earn around $100 a month; I worry about getting by with $350. And do you know why the professors kept those jobs? Because they said they were fulfilling! Oh, how silly I can be; God has shaped each of us to deal with the struggles He will place in front of us. I am convinced He has shaped the Russians completely different than Americans; this makes living here a daily battle!
If you ever pray for patience, and are not satisfied by God’s answer, move to Russia. Time is not a factor here; as a multi-tasker, and a get-as-much-accomplished-today sort of attitude that I posses, I find myself perpetually frustrated with time’s elusiveness here. I pick up a book, as most Russians do, and will have half of a library read before the year’s end; I write more than ever now, just to fill the time. And my relationships are growing deeper daily as I learn to allow time to dictate to me, rather than me dictate to it. Leah and I are becoming great friends; the teachers at school are teaching us, and we are learning much from them. My roommates and I are getting along very well, as we have spent the last three nights laughing until we’ve cried. Thank you for your prayers for these relationships; I have felt them.
Many of you have written and said that you see me growing and enjoying myself in my letters. Please remember that you get the best of me! I think about these letters for a long time before I write them, wondering what you would most like to know from my day to day life. I don’t think you wan to know that I was so burned out by fourth class today that I wanted to cry. And I don't want to write about the frustrating hour and forty minute bus ride home (because of a wreck). I save all that good stuff to complain to my mom! Seriously though, while I am growing, the negative seems to have ruled over the positive lately. I will continue to covet your prayers for daily life, for my 10-hour days, and for my attitude during my "transformation" into a Russian!
On a more cheerful note, I had the best night since I have been here last Friday night. I met my friend Micah at the US Embassy, where she works, and I went with other Embassy workers to the US v. Russia rugby game! It was thrilling. It took place in this huge stadium where the Olympics were held, there were armed guards everywhere, and, well, I will let you look at the pictures to see how the game actually went. But, since I love rugby, I loved the evening. It helped that we were joined by at least half of the US Marine Corps stationed here, and that afterward, when we were following the Marines out of the stadium, they lead us into the rugby team’s locker room! The team thanked us for coming, and then insisted that we shake their hands. Micah and I were probably presumed to be Marines, but that is okay with me! As we walked back to the metro, we were practically escorted by armed guards, who lined the path in total riot gear, both on foot and on horseback. There were military and cops everywhere that night, the most that I have seen since I arrived, which actually scared me more than it should have. But if I saw that many police in LA, I would assume the worst, rather than feel safe, too. I didn’t hear of any incidents that night, so I suppose they did their jobs!
And I do have one more quick language story: Yuri Yurivich (the flirty teacher) had begun giving me "lessons" on the way home from school. On Monday, we were riding in the children’s van, and all the children found it very amusing that I was learning Russian. We were reading the lesson that I had done with my Russian teacher, and one phrase said "let’s write." The word for write is pisat, or something like that, and it is pronounced, pi-sAt. But I didn’t know that and I was saying pEE-sat. Let’s pEE-sat. The children were all laughing very hard, and Yuri says, "Don’t say it that way," but I don’t know what I have said. So one of the children has to tell me. I have just said, "Let’s go pee together." Great! While all the children are laughing, another teacher from the front yells at them for saying that...and who started it? The dumb American! There is much more to this language than I thought!
In other news, the temperature has dropped, and I am already wearing a coat, but I am also ready for winter! (I have a few months, they say). We may be moving apartments at the end of the month, which could be fun, and stressful, so your prayers (for finding a new flat, for the move itself) would be appreciated. If you have gotten this far, congratulations. I am long winded, aren’t I?
Just passing through,
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